Sure, common convention maintains that you should never determine your self-worth by comparing yourself to others.
You tell yourself not to.
But you do.
Sometimes.
Maybe more often than you care to admit.
Hard not to some days
Like on days when your best efforts are generating crappy outcomes.
When the slightest criticism cuts like vinegar poured over a thousand paper cuts.
When you question who you are to aim so high.
When you’re ready to cry.
When you’re ready to quit.
You stop and think and compare
You start counting up all the achievements that seem to have come so easily for those you admire.
That isn’t so bad.
But, oh! All those successes that other types of people have racked up!
People who haven’t tried as hard as you.
People who certainly can’t be as grateful or thankful for what they have as you would be in their shoes.
People who ____________.
Well, you fill in the blank.
And on a break from your pity party, do this
Stop thinking and tallying the achievements of others.
Instead consider their failures.
And compare those to your failures.
Allow your original perspective to be skewed a bit.
To get you started, check this out
It’s an AWESOME video. And, when you’re done watching it, whisper Thank You and get back to work.
She does. She is very good at what she does! Kathy Sturtz helped me and continues to help me to this day. What started out as business turned into friendship and I am so thankful it did, even at the 1 am meetings we would have, to try and build this business., Well, I got news for you. We’re doing it. and enjoying it too.
Thank you, Kathy, for all your help and support.
JOHN
John,
You’re most welcome! You’ve been such a pleasure to coach. I appreciate all that you’ve shared. And the conscious effort and positive energy you’ve put into the suggestions and assignments I’ve given you. You’ve been very inspiring and helpful for me, as well.
Kat
Great inspriational post and video Kat! It actually gave me enough “oomph” to go back and power through a part of a chapter in my next book that was giving me fits.
I’d heard stories of a few of the people in the video, but the rest were pleasant surprises!
I had the same reaction, Tom. Good to hear you’ve off “stuck“. 🙂
Comparison is such a joy stealer. Thanks for the reminder!
What a terrific phrase, “Comparison is such a joy stealer”!
I just love that ! Compare you FAILURES! 😀 How does my failure mesure up to others, a failure party, compre failure notes… hahahaha Such fun! Thanks Kathy!
ps. And great vid too. Seen it before, love it!
Isn’t it amazing what a simple change of perspective can do? 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Stella.
Thanks Kathy, always great to hear this message regularly (shared similar not too long ago on my blog). We just have to keep reaching for the positive key and throw the negative one away.
Thanks for stopping by, Mark. Hoping others here will also visit your site, particularly the age 50+ crowd.
Okay Kathy, I had a down day yesterday. I was in a funk all day long. One of those why me days which I seriously seldom have. I guess it was finally my turn.
It’s not that I saw myself as a failure but I was expecting something to happen and it didn’t so I started questioning myself of course. What does that person have that I don’t, why did they get it and not me, you know the things we say to ourselves. I’m a good person, I follow the rules, I do the right thing so when is it my turn… Okay, I told you I was in a funk but it only lasted a day.
Love that video by the way, I’ve seen it several times and it’s a great pick me up that’s for sure.
Thanks for this post by the way. I think it’s just what the doctor ordered so, movin on!
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne. Had an admittedly down day myself yesterday. Struggled to complete an important financial paperwork project. Allowed myself to pout a little then put on my big-girl panties and got the job done anyway. Surprising thing, well maybe not, was once I finished that project the funk was also gone. So I’m thinking that particular funk was a sneaky form of procrastination that I was able to whomp on the head!
— Glad you liked the video. One of my favorites to re-watch.
Hi Kathy
While we are envying someone else I wonder if anybody is envying us? It would be nice to know that, it might just lift our spirits when they are in a slump. I anticipated more than what transpired but if the universe is looking out for me (they tell me this) then it knows what is best for me. Maybe I am not where I need to be and that is why not much is going the way I had hoped for. Along this journey I came across a number of things to study and possibly that is where I need to be. Not even sure how they were thrown my way but I suppose they were there for a purpose. Life is not grand but it is not falling apart. On this journey I have learned the true meaning of happiness and I have learned how to not stress about everything…so that is a start to the journey I will be taking. Self-worth, well I am sure that is a work always in progress. Great time for thinking.
Mary
Hi Mary,
So sorry I missed seeing your comment sooner! You pose an interesting question that I must admit had not occurred to me, “While we are envying someone else I wonder if anybody is envying us?”
That’s certainly a very different sort of worrying what others are thinking about us, isn’t it?
I’d love for you to share more what you’ve learned for yourself about the true meaning of happiness. And, congratulations, on being an active work in progress!
Thank you yes I accept my failures as discoveries 🙂