It was such a delight having the lovely Rev. Anne Presuel, of Divinely Intuitive Business, share her insight as my Tipster of the Day on the Fast Action Fridays call for May 9, 2014. We discussed how conditions we keep tolerating can hold us back from reaching our goals.
Oh, snap. Yep, those stacks of papers we’ll get around to someday fall squarely into that uncomfortable category of things we often tolerate far too long.
Do you tolerate not just a few things but a whole host of things? It’s not hard to become a toleration hoarder. Sometimes, consciously. Sometimes, not.
Regardless, such “tolerations” always generate negative energy that accumulates over time. It clouds our thinking, clutters our mind, drags us down, and increases our feeling of overwhelm.
Worse, tolerations hamper our best intentions to make meaningful goals and take positive action. We think up smart, solid goals. We intend to do them. We fail to identify and do the action steps that provide traction and help us rock our unique paths.
And the tolerations continue to grow, along with our frustration
Rev. Anne pointed out that we’re trained to ‘put up with.’
“We’re trained. We have to go to school. We have to do what the teacher says. We have to do what society says. We have to do what our parents say.
“So in our adult years it’s really an uncovering of ‘Who am I really‘ and ‘Is this a fit‘ and ‘Do I want it?’ And whether it’s a relationship or whether it’s furniture, what am I putting up with in my life that is not a fit for me, for who I am … for what I want … for what my values are?
“I think that’s a really conscious evolution as an adult that we go through, especially the healers, the intuitives, the spiritual entrepreneurs. This is our calling. This is what we do. We cast off that which no longer fits. But that doesn’t mean it’s a comfortable casting off. Usually it’s kind of painful. To get clear. Wow. I really don’t like this in my life. Now what do I do with it?”
Be sure to listen to the replay to hear Rev. Anne describe a common toleration service-oriented professionals in particular are guilty of … tolerating bad clients or feeling we need to deal with clients who aren’t a good fit for us.
Powerful stuff. She offers additional fast action steps, too, in the replay. Click here for access.
By the way, if one of the things you’re tolerating is what Rev. Anne calls the “Divinely-Broke Dilemma” – the belief that making money and being spiritual can’t go hand-in-hand, then you’ll want to get a free copy of her ebook, 10 Reasons Why Your Spirituality is Keeping You Broke in Your Business (and what you can do about it). Click here for this gift.
Here are some categories of tolerations we allow to accumulate:
- Incomplete tasks
- other people’s or our own behavior
- unmet needs
- crossed boundaries
- overdue library books/DVDs
- outdated wardrobe
- unresolved issues
- lack of exercise
- poor eating habits
- being indecisive
- lack of sleep
It’s overwhelming just going through that list!
Fast Action Tip 1: Now is the time to identify what you are tolerating.
You may not want to do anything about them right now, but just writing them out will raise your awareness and you’ll naturally start handling, fixing, and resolving them.
Fast Action Tip 2: Decide what’s already a “Done Deal”.
An acceptable action step is to decide that something just doesn’t need to be dealt with at all … or at least no more than just throwing it out and crossing it off your list.
Perhaps its value is no longer worth any more thought or attention.
For example, I’m never going to plant the mishmash of flower and vegetable seeds left from 5 years of not planting annuals and my veggie garden while I helped nurse my hubby through major medical problems. When I’m done writing this I’m heading to the garage to toss those old seeds out back in my “Where the Wild Things Grow on Their Own” wildflower patch. What the birds and critters don’t eat might grow and it’ll be a sweet colorful surprise.
Some things may need an action that is far different from what you had originally planned.
Thinking of hemming that new too-long pair of slacks that don’t fit any more? Why bother? Put it in a box for Goodwill. Declare it a Done Deal.
Beware the impostor action.
Be honest here. Choosing to ignore something you are tolerating just because you can’t bring yourself to face it is NOT the same thing as deciding something is no longer relevant.
Unresolved issues, such as guilt, anger, and bad habits, may seem like things you can deal with logically by simply stating ” I won’t do that anymore” and cross it off your list. Unfortunately, that’s merely a stalling mechanism. An impostor action.
Fast Action Tip 3: Seek help for those niggly issues
There are better action steps you can take to deal with issues you are tempted to ignore or relegate to impostor action. Perhaps seek out a coach, counselor, or therapist. Rev. Anne offers services to deal with such issues. I do, too.
An excellent next action would be to apply for a 20 minute complimentary strategy session with me right now. Click here to apply.
By the way, if you’d like to volunteer to be the Tipster of the Day for a future Fast Action Fridays call, share your tips, plus get some free promotion, just post your request on my Facebook page or contact me here.
YOUR TURN Exercise
- Pick 1 thing from your Tolerations List to address today, plus 2 or 3 others to address within the next few days.
- Describe the specific next action steps you will take to change these from being things you are stubbornly tolerating to something you are can declare “Completed. Done Deal.”
Well, … I’ll be sealing up that package of wonderfully fragrant home-grown Michigan lilacs and mailing them off as promised last year to my cousin in California.
You’ll understand if you were live on the call or listen to the replay. 🙂
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Kat, great post, the top of your list sort of goes together with what people produce when they are procrastinating. Then of course you have procrastinating on the list as well 🙂 Great tips for starting to deal with these issues. As always requires people to take action. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing your input. That pesky procrastinating things is a bugger to overcome for sure. It even relates to your advice post about Referral Marketing. My experience indicates most business people know what to do but for a variety of reasons just don’t follow through. It’s triggers procrastinating behavior. To effectively tackle that it’s more important to identify exactly what hidden barrier is blocking action versus trying to just trying to overcome procrastination habits with logic.
Looking forward to more sharing from you.
You nailed it. I’ve lived a life tolerating or settling for what shows up in my life. I’m now creating the life I desire as I release beliefs and patterns that no longer serve my higher good. Dealing with my tolerations is part of the process. Thanks for your tips.
Andrea, congratulations on your commitment to stop settling. It’s been a pleasure watching all the wonderful action steps you’ve been taking … and sharing parts of the journey together.
Keep on rocking your path!
Kat: From beginning to end this was a great post. Make that a GREAT post. So practical – not only identifying a common issue that everybody must have fallen prey to at sometime in their life (it’s in the human condition as a social animal), but also providing practical advice as to how to respond when it has a negative impact on you. As the poet once said “The Road to Hell is paved with Good intentions”, now at least I can eliminate potholes and turn the car around… THANK You, Thank YOU, THANK YOU.
Peter, I’m beyond delighted that you found my post so useful…and a great read. Would love to stay in touch and hear about some of the tolerations that you’re taking action to eliminate so you can continue rocking your unique path.
I love firing bad clients or team members um I mean, letting go bad matches. Love it Kat! I feel blessed to have some wisdom and clarity in how I intend to live, so I tolerate little to make room for great matches, and a freeing life. Thanks!
Letting go of bad client relationships is so hard for some people. Glad to hear you’re seeing that as a plus for you and your business, Ryan! Thanks for sharing … and really … all the way from Thailand?! Awesome!