What's your trigger? Are you prepared to take the hit?

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We all have them. We all can recognize them.

Yet all too often we don’t want to. It’s painful. Because with acknowledgement comes responsibility.

Responsibility to take positive action that involves looking ourselves in the mirror and contemplating what further internal work we need to do.

I faced just such a trigger myself recently. I have a good friend who I’d promised to help as an assistant for a demonstration project at the local library. He’s great at this. He’s not so good at planning and prepping for them. I knew from years of experience we’ll likely be in super rush mode that morning packing up supplies and setting up at the library.

Part of my responsibility as a business life coach is helping clients change ineffective habits and behaviors. However, they have to want to change. I can push and prod but without their desire and commitment, nothing will change.

With one exception …

Things can get worse. People can get pissed off to the point where triggers are deliberately activated and collateral damage ensured.

Though perfectly willing to help I felt forced to step up and help him get organized so he could finish strong and add another notch to his successful event resume.

So after nudging and gently asking for more than a month if he had his prep checklist written up, his event planning done, and knowing full well he hadn’t, I pulled the trigger. Deliberately.

He got defensive. I stood my ground. He deflected the conversation to known personal trigger ground … because when you’re stuck in a place and not yet committed to changing YOUR habits and choices … you’d rather engage in a silly-minded argument, knowing full well you are deliberately pissing off the other person and emotionally hurting both of you rather than acknowledge in the moment what you could and should … and probably in your heart meant to do differently … and the evidence is clear. You didn’t.

What I forgot is …

What I forgot is that pulled triggers produce recoil … because every action causes a reaction.

The force of the recoil when I pulled that trigger shot immediately back to me. I’d forgotten for a moment it would. So I was momentarily surprised and stunned. That trigger was mine as much as it was his. Ouch.

There’s still work to be done

You see, as much as I’ve grown and healed and improved internally, there’s still work to be done. Obstacles and hidden barriers to face and overcome. In recognizing a personal area where he can improve also proved there is mirrored within me a similar area still needing attention.